Woke up feeling down again… like I have nothing to look forward to. Past few days were good, I had visitors – lyn/ley/bot, ate jing. Those really helped me to not dwell. But today, KrisTv featured Mariah Carey songs – the song that triggered my painful memory again was actually a love song – love lost. But every line was so aligned with what I’m feeling… escape from the pain, part of me died. Angel Duc, I miss you so much. You would’ve been 2 months already, I would have been pumping like crazy so that you’ll have your breastmilk. It hurts so much. The pain is still as intense, I feel physical heaviness in my heart. I don’t want to think about what-ifs anymore. it’s just so painful and what will it bring me… just more pain.
And I know you’re shining down on me from heaven. And I know eventually we’ll be together… one sweet day.
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