Tuesday, August 26, 2014

August 26


Woke up feeling down again… like I have nothing to look forward to.  Past few days were good, I had visitors – lyn/ley/bot, ate jing.  Those really helped me to not dwell.  But today, KrisTv featured Mariah Carey songs – the song that triggered my painful memory again was actually a love song – love lost.  But every line was so aligned with what I’m feeling…  escape from the pain, part of me died.  Angel Duc, I miss you so much.  You would’ve been 2 months already, I would have been pumping like crazy so that you’ll have your breastmilk.  It hurts so much.  The pain is still as intense, I feel physical heaviness in my heart.  I don’t want to think about what-ifs anymore.  it’s just so painful and what will it bring me… just more pain. 

And I know you’re shining down on me from heaven.  And I know eventually we’ll be together… one sweet day.

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