Weird @ 38

Feeling weird again.  I’m already this old and I still have these sessions where I feel lost coz I’m taken over by what I’m feeling.  What am I feeling?  I feel like I’m hovering over myself, not really in the moment, just doing things mechanically.  Does this mean I’m not enjoying what I’m doing?  I just had my period so this should not be PMSing.  What is it?  Is it because I’m transitioning to a new life?  I’m at that stage where I’m trying to get used to getting out of my comfort zone, it’s not fun.  It’s weird…  I normally take on changes – head on!  but now I feel like I’m losing my confidence… even with the way I drive.  Last night I was driving at night with rain spattering all around.  I got scared of getting flooded, got scared of crashing into some post or another car, got scared of skidding.  What was that???  I suddenly felt not invincible.  I was even thinking what if I’m turning into mom – who’s always scared to try.  It’s weird!!!  I’m not a scaredy-cat!  I take everything head on!  hay… weird.  I’m in a weird place right now and I don’t know where it’s coming from and I don’t know what to do about it.