milestones for bebe 1

hay... exhausting. that's the 1st weeks of being a mother. and i thought delivering the baby was already the hardest ordeal... that was just the start! it's already 9 days since my bebe was born and i've been trying to watch over him around the clock. now i understand where all the post partum depressions starts from. stuff that make it worthwhile is when you have some milestones with him. my first milestone was getting thru the 1st night. gash! i kept waking up every 1-2 hours just to check on him. it's a good thing he didn't cry that much. there was actually enough sleeping time for him, it was just me getting paranoid on this. toping also woke up everytime i would stand up. and he just kept reaching out for my hand, giving me an assurance. it was really a long night but by 4AM, i was relieved. nakaraos din. 2nd milestone was having breastmilk. i've been worried about that since i got pregnant, that i won't have enough milk or no milk at all. but 3 days after i gave birth, my breasts started getting so heavy and hard. it was so painful (yup, another type of pain that goes with motherhood!) and i felt like coming down with fever. but it got regulated, when my breasts got attuned to vino's feeding.
there's still so much more...

my bebe ko!

hay... just thinking about it is making me cry na. it's just such a wonderful experience to have gone thru that. until now, i feel that everything is so surreal. my labor and delivery went by smoothly and shortly! thank gad for the walking and going up the stairs. i really took a huge risk doing all those things in that one day. i really dont know where to start... it all happened so fast that i didn't really have time to internalize it. i was in the pre-labor room for just 30 mins and they wheeled me in the labor room. the labor room was set up with 3-walled rooms and a curtain. on my way inside, i saw this girl in the 1st room, with her eyes closed. she didn't really looked pained so i wasn't scared. i took the 2nd room and that's where real pain started. grabe, i've never experienced that kind of intense pain ever. it was something that i feel i could faint on coz it was just so unbearable. my cervix was already 4-5cm dilated so i was pretty much free to take the epidural. aahhhh... my super best friend - the epidural. i wouldn't have lived without that (yeah, melodramatic!). they made me curl so that they could stick that epidural in my spinal column. and when they were doing that, i was going thru the most intense contractions. everytime i was going through that, i just couldn't speak. i was trying to move and do different positions just to relieve the pain but nothing was workin. even that small trick i do to pinch that skin between the thumb and forefinger did not help at all. i was cringing, i was gripping my arms, hands, the bed cover, i twisted my body, i tried to lift my body with my hands, but nothing was working. i couldn't talk, couldn't answer the questions of the nurse and the anesthesiologist coz i was just in so much pain. then everytime they did the IE, it made the contractions faster and more intense.
then came the epidural. i really wouldn't have lasted until delivery without it. i swear! after that, things were pretty much bearable. i still felt the contractions but 500x less intense. it felt good that ate sol was there during my labor and we talked about her love life. hehehe... weird place to talk about it but it kept my mind off the things that's still to come. then they did the final IE - i'm 10cm dilated. gash... ayan na! it was really fortunate for me since i came in the labor room around 930pm and went out around 12mn. 3 hours is pretty short for a first time mom.
the delivery room! it was just like one of those movies where the operating room is full of lights, giving a hollow sound with a lot of metal stuff. it felt unreal and just the thought that ate sol will do the delivery makes it all the more easier and at east i felt.
they transferred me to a different bed with 2 metal stuff for my legs... i know! it was scary looking at it! i laid there for around 20 mins as they were getting their tools ready. at this point, i was really getting anxious to start and i even requested for music! coz the silence was just making me tense! it was really nice of them when one of them got their ipod and played christmas songs!!! o ha! Christmas songs during delivery! :) then they made me do some practice push. INHALE... HOLD... PUSH!!! 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10. yes, the count was till 10! i felt that i could do it until 10 coz by the time we reach 7, i was already out of breath. there were 5 people working on me. 3 were working on my spread-out-legs and 2 were beside me. this one girl on my right side was supposed to help me push by also pushing my stomach. this was needed since i was on epidural. then came the real pushes. it felt like you were just taking a crap... push! everytime there were contractions, that's the time they tell me to push. i was told to hold on to the metal bars to help me push and to step on those spread-legs metal to really give it my all. and i did. and it wasn't all that painful... except for that girl who was helping me push. she was pushing my ribs instead of my tummy! at one point, i just pushed her and told her it was painful! gash... i can still remember the feeling of something slimey getting out of my cervix... first the head... then i also felt the shoulders. then i heard the cry. gash! i saw him... he was pretty long and i saw my placenta which i didn't really expect it to look so white and violet and thick! and i felt such relief that it was over. (that's what i thought then!!!) my eyes followed my bebe when 2 nurses/midwife took him and bathed him. everything happened so fast so i was just lying there, not thinking about anything. then they brought him to me. i didn't really feel that motherly drama you see on tv, the one with the mom having tears in their eyes and the baby doing its first yawn and its hand gripping the finger of the mom. it wasn't like that at all. i just wanted him close, smiled for the camera and they took him away. so i was with him for just 15 seconds. then it was done. recovery room, here i come.