mini-me (1.1)

i'm 6 months pregnant. hayy... i haven't really blogged about this yet coz i know if i start, it's gonna be a long write for me, it's gonna open up a lot of emotions and i don't want to deal with that yet. but now i realize that i want to read about this 5 years from now. i want to remember what if felt like to be here, right now.
It has been a slow ride for me. i'm not the kind of girl who enjoys being pregnant, being pampered and being told to take it slow. i always want to be on the go, to be able to do errands, to just go and job whenever i want, to travel and take a break, yo and drink when i want to, eat JUNK food - chocolates, cakes, donuts! so you can really imagine the humungous amount of restraint i'm doing. :) so pregnancy is not something i look forward to. in any case, hane is also not the type who pampers. i resented it at first, but hey that's the man he really is and i've known him to be like that. hay... see?? and this is not the start yet. i have this whole lot of thoughts, feelings, ideas and right now, i'm already thinking of the amount of work i need to get done. and i really need to do it! oh well... this is just section 1 of part 1. :)

transition

gash, here i am on a cross road again. an opportunity to move from Finance to IT, SAP analyst to be exact. i've actually decided already but until now, i still have that nagging question - am i making the right choice? well, i brought this on, i was the one who requested for it. but now that it's here, i'm wary. it's not that i love finance so much. it has really been my safety blanket coz i know the ins and outs of it. assign me anywhere and i'd know what do do. i guess that's the thing that scares me. at this age, should i be getting into a new thing again? i'm scared of starting from scratch again, of feeling that sense of "lost" coz i just don't know the ropes yet. haay... i'm just writing these feelings coz i know i'm gonna go thru with it. I think this is what He has planned for me as well, coz it's going smoothly. hay, i'll just trust in You. if you really think about it, the long term impact, it's gonna be a win-win for me. goodluck sa kin!

cool entries to my blog

Some of the blogs i see are so cool. they're not really better writers but seems that they're always on the go, always with something new. i'm thinking of transitioning to that and possibly getting this blog in public. That's much more fun. cool!

sungit?

ARG. i don't know why i'm suddenly so offensive. we have this customer, client if you will who's really a pain, asking for reports that takes so much of the accountants' time to do. so she demanded for that information with copy to all those big bosses. now, i'm screwed. there goes my performance for 2006. shicks! makes me sick! ARG and here i am doing that same report coz if i don't i'm just gonna bury myself even further! i have to redeem myself in this. i'm expecting my boss to at least understand where i'm coming from and give a little bit of slack. but i know it's all my bad. i didn't send an email in the first place, warning her of that. i didn't call her. dang! customers! just goes to show how far off i've become with this customer focus-whatever. am i really so bad? i'm just mad coz i don't know where to draw the line anymore with this customer service. do we always bow down to every request and jump every time this big boss says jump. dang! what's happening to me? i used to be so easy to talk to, i'll do whatever request they want me to do... but this time? coz of different people running the business? because i've grown? haaay... anyway, i have to really get over this and make myself be better! need to refocus my goals man! need to lead this team in a better way. i'm so scattered! ARG!

3 kinds of feeling... all in an hour

Am emotional again. I just learned that they’re gonna have dinner at pantalan with dad’s sisters. gash… am gonna miss that. I wanted to see auntie glen. What am I really doing here? Oh well, this is the hard part and I have to deal with this. I have to overcome this and still remain happy and at peace. I can’t be wallowing on my loneliness and be unproductive. But gash, I just want to say ARG!!! and this work here is definitely not worth me missing out on family activities! Those are the memories you’re gonna cherish for the rest of your life.

I just found out that the nationals in finance liked me. :) that's such a good compliment and they didn't like the other one. Hehehe! Yeah, I know! I just can't help it. And you know what, that just feels the same as when Mark appreciates the good work we do. That's more important. In my heart, I really want them to succeed. I want them to continue doing good work and remember how I once used to push them to work. And I hope it's gonna stay with them for a long time. I'd like to bet on Teofilo. He's really a good guy and much drive in him. He may need more help on accounting and analytical issues but having the heart and drive is far better than having technical competence. It just enforces how I'm not too keen to be up on that ladder when it will involve people like her always trying to step down on people. I definitely, not ever in my whole lifetime, do not want to turn up like that.

Can I just do a segway? I really find it irritating that the other one implemented so many things without even considering the sustainability of it. Gash! It just shows how she wants to shine here and not really do a longterm change. It's so irritating! Hay… oh well, what's new with that? I got burned by her and I just hate it that she's gonna do that to a lot of people. Haay… why do we have people like that in this world. Everytime I think about that other one, my blood boils! I hope I never get to be in the same project or assignment with her or else I'm gonna go crazy!