what now?

It's so weird why I'm feeling this way. I feel like I want more out of life. Am I ready to be tied down in marriage?
I guess this has been at the back of my mind but I've already set myself to be in the kind of lifestyle most people aim for. But now, I'm starting to enjoy life and just be free and meet other people. This trip to Africa has made me realize that I've just been too serious with a lot of things and now I'm more aware of the things and people around me and how to make it all fun. Now that I'm writing about it, it sounds pretty shallow. Hay… moods! Lord God, I just pray that whatever you "whisper" in my ear, I'll be able to hear you and listen. Open my heart, Lord God.

some article...

"A girl falls in love with a boy because he listens to her when she speaks, and remembers what she said a month ago. Love is sparked by the little things – the quiet word, the gesture of compassion, the look." –Father James B. Reuter, SJ

i'd love to be how lucy is with richard in a 7-year marriage. that article is so inspiring and really touched me. being so inlove in marriage. it's not about keeping a marriage but sustaining that "lovey-dovey" feeling after a long time of being together. my H is also like that, he's very touchy, holding my hand or just putting his hand on my leg or knee. this is one of the things that i appreciate about him. even if our minds are miles away, we still feel so connected with just one touch. small gestures like this give me comfort that he's near and he'll never let go. that's one thing i'm gonna pray for and work hard for... to keep being in love while married. i know that's a tall order but it's something to look forward to...

frustration!

it's so frustrating when you are surrounded by people who just don't understand! i know i'm being mean but can i just have this moment of bitchiness? everything here at work is falling to pieces because people just don't understand or just don't care. i want to help out... i really do.

I’m so pissed! Hay! I don’t’ know. I guess I just can’t do what needs to be done because I have to be courteous enough to pass thru the supervisor to get things going! I just find him to be somewhat of a pushover! Even his staff can push him around, I think. I know I should do something to help him out but right now I just want to vent out my anger! ARG!

sleepy at Changi

we're just waiting for our next flight from singapore to johannesburg. i'm back here again, travelling. nothing really new to me. i was more interested in the movies and music i'm gonna be checking out later. but i'm so sleepy, i don't think i'll finish 2 movies.

i was also checking the tag haeur watch and i'm loving it. i was planning to buy a his & hers but it's adding up to SGD 1142 each. and the singaporean guy was selling this limited edition one - only 600 in the whole wide world for 1197. i was seriously tempted. but i just have all my funds tied up. hay.. money... what do we do without it...

my hane just texted me promising me that he's not gonna make me cry. hmmm... that's a first from him... i'm actually quite happy and feeling apprehensive at the same time. it was so good to 'hear' it from him and i'm feeling hopeful about it. so no buts. i truly believe in my heart that he's the one for me and all it takes is really hard work and faith. nothing is impossible.

this is a start of a new blog life. in 2 months, i'll be turning 30 and that should not be something that i will be depressed over. right? i've accomplished a lot, i've grown a bit wiser and i've definitely achieved some peace of mind. so enough about those depressing thoughts and whining moods!

i just finished interviewing this person. her communication is really something to be improved on but she's got substance. hope i made a right decision to recommend her for final interviewer. Bill's gonna do it and i hope i'm right with my intuition. or else! i'm slowly starting to realize that i'm not really a very good judge of character. so i really have to practice this intuition of mine or subconscious or whatever. that's what blink's all about! just goes to show how much i'm learning from all the books i've been reading... :)