I’ve been tossing and turning on something I’ve observed about myself for a couple of days. I realized how irritable I’ve become towards my family… especially my mom and dad. is it something chemical inside me that gets this way?? Whenever my mom shows signs of weakness or something (like yesterday when I brought food to Tirona and she started asking what it was, where did I get it… I got irritated and just answered her rudely. Right now, I don’t even remember what triggered it. I feel bad right now, but I remember that I just can’t stand it. I even snapped at Marie when she said she invited Ariel and Armi, telling her “parang anniv mo”. what the hell was that? I was not in a good place yesterday… was it? and to think I just came from mass not 2 hours before that. and I didn’t spare my dad! I snapped at him when he started asking for advance to pay for the annual dues in Pico. Now I remember, this really irked me. and until now, I want to set the record straight with them that I’m not in a financially safe place right now. The house and our move really wiped out our savings – as in literally wiped! I only have 1 savings left but that’s just what 10k?? and not just that, we’re mortgaged to the hilt. And I have my baby coming in a few months. So I really need to protect what I have so far.
And I didn’t end there! I shared my ‘ill feelings’ to bits/armi/Yielly about this thing with Jro, how mom and dad again covered for her financially putting a down payment for a car. I was on a roll yesterday! I shouldn’t have gone out yesterday if I was on this ‘rampage’ about how irked I felt. Haayyy… I’m trying to figure out what’s triggering this. I don’t want to be like this… I want to be “Christ-like”. Haaayyy… need some divine intervention somehow. It’s been awhile since we last had a heartfelt talk huh. I think this is just your way of calling me… I really don’t want to be this ‘sungit’ person who always have negative things to say always! Haaayyy… kakainis! Sige, later, let’s talk. J
I really want to sort this out.
