i had a scary night last night. i woke up, feeling so hot and i can't breathe! it was so weird... i felt like i was having a panic attack coz i can't understand what was wrong with me. I felt dizzy but i didn't feel any pain... and i thought of scary things like what if i die here and i'm all alone in my room... so this is what it feels like to die alone. i thought of my honey, how i needed him then. gash. i just had to push myself out of bed and go to the bathroom. i didn't even feel the need to pee or take a crap but i just sat on the toilet seat, feeling even more dizzy. i felt like i was seconds away from passing out. and i immediately thought who's gonna find me here when i pass out, will it take a long time for people to start realizing that i'm missing. i even thought that i don't want to be hospitalized here, even if it means i have to ignore this dizziness! and then i took a crap... and felt a little better. it was just so weird. i'm not the type who panics easily. am i getting old? i even thought of that last night. i said to myself i'm gonna start taking care of myself, eating the right food and exercising. until now, i'm still amazed by what happened. but again, i'm gonna conquer that. hello! i can't let this affect me coz my mind is stronger and God is beside me. :)
