a moment of homesickness

I just had this sudden and great urge to go home. I might cry again. I just miss my honey and I'm wondering what I'm doing here when I should be back home fixing my marriage and just be surrounded by my family… my comfort zone. Right now, I suddenly feel like such an alien here.
And suddenly, I felt better again. Emotions are so powerful and so deceiving. If you let yourself go and feel, you'll never be completely satisfied. I just had this very interesting talk with a married man. He talked about how money should be controlled by the wife. This restricts the man from doing things he's not supposed to do as a married man, be it women, booze or gambling. Right now, I don't believe in that yet. I have complete trust in my fiance and I don't want to be restricting him just to prevent him from doing bad things. It should be coming from him. Maybe in a few years time, I might have a change of heart. Hmmm… something to talk about with my honey.

lapit na...

am back here again in singapore waiting for my flight to johannesburg. i'm so tired right now i just want to whine. i want to forget first to be positive and to control these emotions and just wallow in my tiredness. i'm a little bit worried on this hitch because i know i'm not gonna be 100% focused on my work coz i'll be worrying about our big day. how will i survive? mygash, just thinking about it is making my head hurt and that's the last thing i need right now. i'm so tired, my eyes are drooping already, my back is aching, my tummy is bloated with air, my spirit is a little bit down. i probably should've bought the creative vision M coz it might cheer my up just a little bit. as bad as it sounds, i'm not really looking forward to anything back in camp. i hope that i'll get to find something or someone to motivate me. hmmm... which reminds me... there's an invite for a bible study. i know You might be calling me... hay, i'm one tough bullheaded cookie! kulit!

well, i hope everything will be fine.